Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Randomize
