Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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