Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
