I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
