I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
