The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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