i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
