I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
