The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
