i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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