Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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