Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
