how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
The uberlube is also flammable
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Randomize
