Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
