wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
