You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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