You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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