Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
