Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
