she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I touched a dick in church today
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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