The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
She bit a glass in half.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
