I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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