i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
