the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
