why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I love you. Go after that dick
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
