kristin has been a bad kristin
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
