I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Randomize
