The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
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