Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
