I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
