Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
