My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
