So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
