I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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