I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
They are going to name an STD after you.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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