Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
