I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
it's like iHOP with fire
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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