Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
