are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
you had me at cake vodka
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
