she was so not down for the gang bang
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
