He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
The air was thick with penises
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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