do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
