i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
