doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
