I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
