So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
