Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
