we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
