The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
My liver just broke up with me...
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
