I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Are we still banned from the library?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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