how hairy? two words: wookie tits
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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