Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
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