You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i was born a porn star she said
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
